On the Mountain of Change

 Two weird topics, but they will tie together in the end.  I've had this title in my head for weeks, but I've not convinced myself to sit down and type for a bit.  First I'll address the Spoons. I stumbled across a video online that talked about Spoon theory. I don't know why they decided on spoons of all things, I'm sure I could go down a rabbit hole and figure it out, but the idea captured me.  It's the concept of having all the energy to get things done in a day. For so many years I've been energetic and motivated. Always getting tons done and ready for more. Never more have I realized my limitations as I am experiencing them now. I feel like I used to have hundreds of spoons throughout my day. Or maybe as an ADHD person, I just picked up a spoon, but then set it back in the pile never fully using it. But I'm finding as this invisible disease affects me, each day I am more tired, more itchy, and more uncomfortable in my own body. I'm trying to sho...

 Well it will be a 2024 by the time I post this. We'll see if I become more consistent.  I have so many ideas on my head, but when I end up trying to type them, they don't come out correctly or I can't write as fast as I can think. I understand one of my tutor students. She doesn't love writing essays because her thoughts and ideas move faster than her fingers so she voice types most of her work then goes back to edit.  2023 was a year of good and bads. I ended up going back into teaching and got hired at MICDS. My main room is the room that I learned 8th grade science in. It's pretty amazing. I have some great students and I'm having a good time. It is not easy to do two new curriculums, but my students, and coworkers are so amazing and supportive. It is such a different vibe. My past job, it took 3 years to earn street cred from the students and I'm not sure I ever truly won the support of the the staff I worked with. At MICDS, the students loved me when I...

Well I'm for sure, not a consistent poster, but I need a space to every once in a while put my thoughts out there. I'm allowing it to be public, because I often feel that that when people keep experiences quiet or untold, there are often others who struggle with similar things and feel all alone. There's one thing I generally dislike, being alone.  I always thought myself an introvert, but I've discovered as I age, I was just a shy extrovert. With ADHD I am impulsive and have anxiety about how people perceive me. I desperately want to be liked and respected. And often I get in my own way, and I think that caused the shy part as I was younger.  I digress. So Updates. I'll start with the sunny side and move to the "dark" side.  The '22-23 School year (Even not officially in a teaching roll, I live my life by the teaching calendar), I believed myself to be taking a year off. But my habit of taking on too many things landed me in a variety of new opportuni...

 I'm not going to make goals per say, I just will say they are aspirations. I will do my best to accomplish what I can. But first a final reflection on 2022.  2022 was a difficult year for me. I felt lost and completely frustrated. I was sick constantly and also suffered with some anxiety and depression. For the first time ever I took a stand and realized my place of work was no longer right for me. I got over my fear of being jobless for a little bit and took a leap of faith to just be a stay at home parent... which lasted exactly 1 summer... like it always does. Till I got asked to sub and can't say no. But that sub gig opened my heart again and made me aware of the toxic environment I had been working in and opened up so many new opportunities in a community that recognizes my value and doesn't demean it.  I was still sick a lot, but despite the sickness, traveled a lot and did a lot with my family. Funny enough I feel like I grew a lot. Also my changing directions lik...

 Well, it is not New Years yet, but I have some things I want to keep in mind as I go into the new year.  Goals: I love the new omada app from Cigna. It is already helping me focus on my help. I don't feel guilty  on the days I forgot to report, because it's not money I'm losing. They are strictly focused on helping me do my best to lose weight. Even through my most bloated time, I have been able to keep my weight in a good range considering the craziness of the holiday season AND going through my period.  GOAL to reduce my weight to under 160 by this summer.  GOAL to bring my Weight under 150 by the end of 2023.  I am exploring new career options and opportunities. I have learned staying home is not great for me. It's been good for the holiday season, but not something I can do full time. Figure out my health.  Start writing more consistently so I can build up my writing skills so I could eventually write a book.  Week/Year Reflection:  This...

 There are so many things I want to write, so many things I want to reflect on, talk about, but they come and go so quickly through my head I can't keep up with my thoughts and that intimidates me when it comes to writing them all down. What if I miss the important ones. I guess if I just stop to write, I can get some of it down and just go from there.  I live my life in school years. It's the only way I know how. I have been in education pretty much all my life between learning, and teaching, the year to year thing doesn't even connect with me. So here we go...  22-23 Year:  It was suppose to be a year of change, a break year to figure things out and explore. A Year off. It has been a lot of those things, but it HAS NOT been a year off and it's turned out better than I could have expected. Partially because I'm still learning to set boundries, I was roped into teaching 8 weeks of somoene's maternity leave and how little I knew it would change my perspectivie.  ...